I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize