you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
