she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
soo... how was my night?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize