ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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