Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
