I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize