im drinking this country out of the recession.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
