I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize