my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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