I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
