@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I love having hate sex.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
