yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
