Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
