i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
