I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she told me i tasted like america
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
