I think I died a long time ago.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
