At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
