I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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