i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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