is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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