We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
