I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
