if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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