I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Green mimosas i think yes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
