we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
