I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
