you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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