Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
