i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
