I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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