lets start a swedish sibling band together
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
