Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
