my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize