Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
