If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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