is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
