based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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