we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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