He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize