well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
