Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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