I can tuck mytits in my pants
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
