You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
