Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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