Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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