Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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