She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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