"it" just moved
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
