I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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