my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
