Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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