After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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