you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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