i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
