we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
