It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
