If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
