lets start a swedish sibling band together
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
