Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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